Evaluating Face Masks

Before Lockdown

Only worn by professionals in the course of their jobs.

 

During Lockdown

We don’t have enough face masks, testing kits & swabs.

 

After Lockdown

Face masks are ‘advisory’ for every Tom, Dick & Gob.

 

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Evaluation

We are led by donkeys & the PM is a knob.

 

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Glossary of Terms

Professionals (plural noun): People engaged in or qualified for a profession. People whose job requires the wearing of a face mask and where not doing so can result in fatal illness and/or death.

 

Swabs (plural noun): an absorbent piece of material used in surgery, to clean wounds and take specimens. Shortages reported in the USA and U.K. but not in Germany and South Korea.

 

Gob (informal noun): a lump of slimy spittle or phlegm. Can be a carrier of viral disease. British slang for mouth and opinionated arsehole. North American for a large amount of [fake news].

 

Led by Donkeys (phrase): originated during the First World War. Refers to incompetent and indifferent leaders who caused countless, avoidable deaths.

 

PM (abbreviation of): Prime Minister. An elected role and leader of the UK Government. Often characterised by decisive and effective leadership, not usually found hiding in a fridge.

 

Knob (noun): a rounded lump or ball at the end of something. Slang for Penis. British slang for moronic twat. Colloquial, to father a number of children and only claim paternity if politically expedient.